Meth Makes You Dumb: Kansas Edition

What would you do with an historic artifact, one that was cast in Spain from solid copper 231 years ago, and weighs 800 pounds? Guaranteed it wouldn't be what Gordon Pierce did. 

Pierce, 38, was arrested after confessing to his mom what he did to the historic cannon that had been on display in a Witchaw, Kansas park for the last 125 years.

You see, Pierce is a meth user of 20 years and somehow a pound of meth he was supposed to sell got "stolen". This ment he owed his furious dealer $20,000 or else the dealer was going to kill his whole family.

Thats when Pierce decided he could steal copper, and sell the scrap for metal to repay his dealer. And where is there a lot of unguarded copper? Well statues in the park, naturally. So he drove around in desperation until he found the massive artifact on a pedestal in Riverside Park - where it had been on display since 1900.

Clearly, the next move was to smoke crack with a homeless guy in the park, and just pick up the canon and put it in his truck. When that clearly was not going to work, Pierce got a chain, and attached the canon to his trailer hitch and began to tow it off. Until the chain snapped, and left the artifact in the street.

Undaunted, Pierce got another chain, and dragged the antique canon to a friends garage.

Inside the garage, Pierce allegedly chopped the cannon into five hunks and took some of the parts to the drug dealer in the hopes it would settle his debt and save his and his family’s lives. This too, did not go the way Pierce expected, and the furious dealer threatened to shoot him in the head.

Terrified, Pierce went to his mother, confessed and fell asleep… which is standard behavior when you are method-up, threatened with death, and have a chopped-up cannon in the garage.

When he woke up, cops were there to arrest him.

Officials from Wichita’s Parks and Recreation estimated that the cannon is worth more than $100,000, and that Pierce caused $10,000 worth of damage to the granite pedestal during his harebrained caper. Pierce is being held on a $200,000 bond.

As a PS - even if everything else had gone according to plan, Pierce couldn't have sold the copper. Kansas law requires a special ID to sell scrap metal.  nypost